Monthly Archives: July 2016

“Senseless Juxtaposition of Wildcards.”

Fiction, Idle Speculation, Internet Culture, Programming, Science!

He had to admire the the gall of the programmer who wrote the error messages.

“Senseless Juxtaposition of Wildcards.”

It might as well have said:

“Grow a brain!”

Or:

“Try listening to classical music.”

But then it got him thinking…

What would be a senseful juxtaposition of wildcards?

First, we would have to make a list of possible wildcards:

The ‘standard’ wildcard character, specifically referring to a character is the question mark, ‘?’. Generally standing in for any one of some set of things (or in Perl, 0 or 1 of a thing).

The ‘larger’ wildcard character, ‘*’, which stands for any number of something (including 0), sometimes expressed as ‘%’, if you’re speaking SQL.

The ‘even larger’ wildcard character, ‘…’, which is like a recursive ‘*’.

But could there be something larger still? Something which climbs the directory hierarchy in the oppsosite direction, perhaps? Something which can make it past all of the automatic filters, but is clearly wrong? Something like typing ‘NaN‘[1] into a number field box? Something which steps outside the usual boundaries, like Thiotimoline?

In a biological context, there are entire alphabets of more-and-less-specific wildcards.

So, knowing all of this, what would be a senseful juxtaposition of wildcards? Something like ‘**’, or ‘?*’, or ‘*?’ would be meaninglessly equivalent to ‘*’.

You could attempt to mix SQL with bash-isms: “WHERE ID LIKE ‘%*’ “, showing that you expect an SQL character string followed by a bash character string, but that is again non-sensical.

Maybe it would have to be something like ‘hello??????'[2], to say that there are 6 characters of some type after your ‘hello’.

But there it was. The senseful juxtaposition of wildcards… bash statements inside command-line SQL statements.

That was it! But he had to think. How would he use this?

[1]And like the link says, you really don’t want to confuse it with NaN3. You really don’t want to confuse *anything* with NaN3.

[2]Or ‘hello……’.

Why are *you* Hiring?

Organizing Systems

When you are trying to hire someone, what are you trying to do? Assuming you’re doing the sensible ‘hire once you can afford it'[1], parts of your organization are probably bursting at the seams, or people are probably feeling a bit (or a lot) overworked. Maybe a key person just left. Either way….

…you probably want to get someone in quickly, to fill the gap that you see in your organization, to take the load off yourself or the people around you.

At the same time, you want to get the right person in, someone who will add to your organization, someone who, over the time they’re with the organization, will be a net benefit.

So, ideally, you want the ‘right’ person, or the ‘best’ person quickly. But the world is not ideal, so you’ll probably have to compromise on ‘best’ slowly, or ‘good enough’ ‘as quick as you can'[5].

The issue here is that different people have different opinions of ‘good enough’, and ‘fast enough’. Sometimes, that is fine:

There’s probably a less stringent application process for washing dishes at a fast food restaurant[6], than for writing the code involved in launching nuclear weapons[7]. If you’re down one poll clerk with 30 minutes to go before the election starts, you probably need to act more quickly than if you’re a 20,000 person organization with 200 current job openings.

Next time, we’ll talk about different opinions of ‘good enough’ and ‘fast enough’ for hiring, and some things you can do about it. In the meantime:

Why are *you* hiring? What are your time horizons? Your short- and long-term goals?

[1]Aside from the nods I’ll get from most of the audience, this makes sense from a competitive perspective. In a perfect/ideal/rollingsphere[2] market situation, where different market participants have no edge beyond how hard they work, those who work harder (however that is defined). This means that whoever is working hardest is potentially (not necessarily) the most profitable and most able to hire new people, to start the cycle all over again.

[2]”Picture the market as a perfect rolling sphere.”[3]

[3]The punchline for many jokes about physicists begins with the physicist making an assumption that some object or process acts as ‘a perfect rolling sphere’. This object or process is typically nothing like a sphere, such as a horse or a bank. However, this can be a powerful tool to get started on a solution, and who knows? Maybe parts of the ‘perfect rolling sphere’ solution may be pretty close to correct![4]

[4]’Spherical chickens’ is not too far off from correct for a number of applications.

[5]If you’re Valve, or Google, this may not apply as strongly. Valve insists on ‘best’, regardless of speed, but they probably get a number and quality of applicants that would stagger any recruiter. Google probably doesn’t have to wait so much, but has a different problem of sorting through so many applications, with some interesting solutions [Wired paywall]

[6]I mention this because I once helped a nice young man with his application, so it springs to mind.

[7]I mention this because the very concept terrifies me, and I hope someone very very careful is the one doing this.

“There are only so many times the bag labeled ‘Priority’ can go around before you decide it is mislabeled.”

Fiction, Rollick

It wasn’t until he heard and fully decoded the word ‘Airbus’ that he could put words to why he disliked air travel so much.

Airplanes were very much like buses. You would sit in an uncomfortable chair for hours at a time, there would be constant vibrations and noise, and your chair would move unpredictably with the terrain.

But, as a way of seeing the world before you retired, planes were still essential. The only other real option in his price range was a sailboat, and he’d never liked sailing. In theory, it seemed like a great idea. Lots of fun calculations about wind speed, wind direction, sail orientation, and current direction. Lots of fun words like tacking, jibs, and mizzenmast.

The worst part was that he had to wear a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. At least he got to wear sunglasses.

“Attention all passengers, we are preparing for descent into Tokyo. Please return to your seat and restore your tray tables and seats to their upright positions.”

The plane landed. Disembarking was always such a trial. You could see the tarmac through the window, and you *knew* there were multiple ways out of the aircraft. For someone who knew every exit out of a building (and used each of them, for practice), being funneled out the front was galling.

As they left the plane and moved down the corridor, he took advantage of his costume to push forward through the crowd. He was pretty sure he hadn’t been followed to the airport, but someone could have sliced his fake ID and been ready to swap suitcases before he got there. He was more than able to operate with just the clothes on his back, but he would feel far more comfortable with the shoes made from gum in his checked luggage.

But he needn’t have worried. He reached the baggage carousel, but it had not even started moving yet. The next one over was carrying one lonely bag with a pink tag, around and around. Squinting, he could see that the pink tag said ‘Priority’. The bag continued to go around. Around and around.

An alarm! ‘His’ carousel was starting up! But no suitcases were coming out yet. His gaze wandered back to the lonely ‘Priority’ bag on its endless quest. He couldn’t stop the unbidden thought: “There are only so many times the bag labeled ‘Priority’ can go around before you decide it is mislabeled.”

Back to his carousel, suitcases were starting to emerge. There his was! And it had the monofilament string around it, still intact. He’d still need to check, but that was a good sign. Grabbing it, he made his way towards customs.

Burning Man in Pictures XXXII: Adventures at Night!

Photos, Travel

In our last post, our adventurers kicked off night two of the Charnival, leaving Mirror Blaze in the capable hands of some of the many talented volunteers, while they struck out to explore what Burning Man had to offer at night!

Today, we get a glimpse of those nighttime explorations!

First, Twisty, the wild Rubiksnake beckoned them from outside the Charnival to go on a ride!:

Twisty, the wild Rubikshore!
Twisty, the wild Rubikshore!

Along the way, they passed Seattle:

Seattle also came to pay a visit.
Seattle also came to pay a visit.

And learned something about what sheep do at night:

Apparently, this is what sheep look like at night.
Apparently, this is what sheep look like at night.

Then they met the most magical tree:

And a most magical shark (in a bit of a hurry):

Shark shark shark shark.
Shark shark shark shark.

But the most amazing realization of the night, was that Blinky,:

Blinky! (In somewhat of a disguise.)
Blinky! (In somewhat of a disguise.)

Pinky,:

Pinky!
Pinky!

Inky,:

Inky!
Inky!

and Clyde:

Clyde!
Clyde!

Were all the same ghost! (And Pac-Man knew all along! #pacmanwasaninsidejob)

next time: More nocturnal adventures!

Burning Man in Pictures XXXI: The Charnival, Night Two

Photos, Things We've Built, Travel

In our last post, our intrepid heroes visited and surveyed the Charnival on their way back to camp for supper.

On the way back, they had a few random encounters. The first was with a beautiful giant Manta Ray and its keeper. Apparently, the Manta Ray (by Peter Hazel) was painstakingly assembled from individually formed pieces of glass over the course of many months:

We meet another friend! His keeper gives us an important token.
We meet another friend! Its keeper gives us an important token.

S also received an important token as a quest item.

Next, our heroes braved the ‘desert flower assortment’. We shall not share the expressions they were forced to express as they passed:

An interesting desert flower assortment.
An interesting desert flower assortment.

Next, they spotted someone or something on top of a geodesic dome:

Who is that up on top of the geodesic dome?
Who is that up on top of the geodesic dome?

Another friend! He seemed to be enjoying himself up there, and was definitely not an Octopus:

"Hello!" [waves eight times]
“Hello!” [waves eight times]

After dinner, our heroes returned to the Charnival, to perform the (almost) daily ritual cleaning of the mirrors, made necessary by the daily application of wind and playa dust. Here you can see S, with her trusty headlamp, using a Mr. Mister:

The ritual cleaning of the mirrors.
The ritual cleaning of the mirrors.

Then it was time to open again! We were helped by Jack (O’Lantern), Dug, and Joan. Mirror Blaze had been designed to be run by two people (one in the chair, controlling the fire, and one on player entry/exit), but we had asked for three because we suspected the crowds would get huge (which they did), and so that our volunteers could do things like take a washroom break. Here you can see S talking to Dug and Joan (I think), as crowds stream in:

Jack (O'Lantern) supervises the fire as S, Dug, and Joan (I think) look on.
Jack (O’Lantern) supervises the fire as S, Dug, and Joan (I think) look on.

Jack sets off the fire:

Jack sets off the fire. S, Dug, and Joan glance its way.
Jack sets off the fire. S, Dug, and Joan glance its way.

And conversation resumes:

S & Dug return to their conversation, Jack presiding.
S & Dug return to their conversation, Jack presiding.

Seth brought the coatrack, and modified the control system to hook it up to one of those ‘mind-controlling headbands’, and thus ‘Pyrokinesis‘ was born!:

Pyrokinesis.
Pyrokinesis.

Lastly, we leave you with an example of what a contact fire spinner (Ben, I think) can do with 2piR (Ardent Heavy Industries):

Tune in next time for zany nightime adventures into the wilds of the Burning Man night!

Burning Man in Pictures XXX: The Charnival in Daylight

Photos, Things We've Built, Travel

In our last entry, our heroes had made a new (possibly fire-breathing) friend, and checked in with Mirror Blaze to see what they had wrought, in full daylight. They then turned their gaze to the rest of the Charnival.

An installation at night feels like a totally different place from that installation during the day. The Charnival by night is a flashing, fiery place of awe and wonder. By day, the sun is baking, the space is wide open as far as the eye can see, the installations look dormant, almost waiting for someone to interact with them. Daytime is more subtle, you can see more detail, it feels easier to live in the now, to experience the thing in front of you, rather than being distracted by the shiny thing blinking out of the corner of your eye.

Our heroes start their tour with some shadowplay, the sun delivering very crisp shadows for the effort:

S is shadowed as she peruses Mirror Blaze.
S is shadowed as she peruses Mirror Blaze.

The installations almost seem asleep, resting after their exertions of the night before. Most of the installations on playa are meant to be played with when the operators are not present, but not these, and in general, none of those which involve fire. Even though many people will walk through during the day, it gives a ‘backstage’ feel to the Charnival during the day:

The Scary Scaffolding, Pyrokinesis, 2piR, and The Man slumber, waiting for nighttime.
The Scary Scaffolding, Pyrokinesis, 2piR, and The Man slumber, waiting for nighttime.

Some of the installations feel like they are watching and waiting…:

Fire Tetris, Hellblazer, ?, Clown Heads, Flaming Hookers, Francis, and the Flamethrower, all seeming to be watching away from the camera, and waiting...
Fire Tetris, Hellblazer, ?, Clown Heads, Flaming Hookers, Francis, and the Flamethrower, all seeming to be watching away from the camera, and waiting…

Definitely a backstage, with all of the Charnival Grounds signs facing outwards:

Shipping container, Riskee Ball!, Barker Stand, and a strange multi-coloured dome.
Shipping container, Riskee Ball!, Barker Stand, and a strange multi-coloured dome.

The wind baffles setup to protect FaIRE Hockey help it feel like an animal, hiding from the sun and wind during the heat of the day:

FaIRE Hockey, hidden from the sun and wind, sleeps and waits.
FaIRE Hockey, hidden from the sun and wind, sleeps and waits.

Looking at the relative rankings on the high striker here may give you insights into some of the unique culture at Burning Man:

Hellblazer, with Francis in the background. Here, you can see cultural opinions expressed in the rankings of a high-striker.
Hellblazer, with Francis in the background. Here, you can see cultural opinions expressed in the rankings of a high-striker.

Francis the Fantastic was just that. It was the best integrated of the installations, combining fire, visuals, and sound into a cohesive whole. Here, you can see the trickster god waiting for the next volunteer:

Francis looks on eerily, awaiting the opportunity to express words and fire. (foreground: Hellblazer highstriker)
Francis looks on eerily, awaiting the opportunity to express words and fire. (foreground: Hellblazer highstriker)

The Last Flamethrower crew were very no-nonsense about safety. Many people joke about ‘safety third’ at the Burn, but when you’re working with gasoline, you really, really can’t do that. Their demeanour and rules reflect that:

The Last Flamethrower, at rest. You can see the range safety rule list, the flamethrower itself, and the (slightly singed) targets.
The Last Flamethrower, at rest. You can see the range safety rule list, the flamethrower itself, and the (slightly singed) targets.

Also, their blunt language:

Caution tape, Flamethrower Shooting Gallery edition.
Caution tape, Flamethrower Shooting Gallery edition.

Lastly, Gray had a piece next to Fire Tetris that I never quite learned the name of, but IIRC, the pieces would react to each other by glowing in different ways:

Gray explains how his glowing tetris pieces work.
Gray explains how his glowing tetris pieces work.

Some links to some of the projects in Charnival:
2piR, by Ardent Heavy Industries
Clown Teabagging Eruption, by Dave McKay and Sir Not Appearing in This Film 🙁
FaIRE Hockey, by Marc Reeve-Newson
Flack in the Box, by Emile Daigle
Flaming Hookers, by TJ Kozma and Deanna Duffey
Francis the Fantastic, by Michael Everson and Trish Lamanna
Hell Blazer, by Kate Tanos
Last Flamethrower, by Matisse Enzer
Mirror Blaze (That’s us!)
Molotov et Immolato: Les Bouffons Brûlant du Ciel, by: Douglas Ruuska
Pyrokinesis, by Seth Hardy (Site 3 Fire Arts)
Riskee Ball (Carrie Smith and Site 3 Fire Arts)
Toxic Bloom, by Ethan Garner
Word of the Burning Bramble, by Michael Dewberry

Next time, our heroes pass by a number of non-biological biological installations, and start night two of Mirror Blaze and the Charnival!

Burning Man in Pictures XXIX: A New Friend, Money, and Revisiting the Installation

Photos, Things We've Built, Travel

In our last post, our intrepid heroes, true to type, had visited the Man and experienced various other poignant adventures on their way back to the installation. But there were still more adventures to be had!

Off in the distance, our heroine saw something, perhaps a friend?:

Our heroine sees something (or someone)in the distance. But who (or what) is it?
Our heroine sees something (or someone)in the distance. But who (or what) is it?
"Hmm hmm-hmm hmm hmm..."
“Hmm hmm-hmm hmm hmm…”
"Oh, hello. How are you doing? It's very different being out during the day."
“Oh, hello. How are you doing? It’s very different being out during the day.”
"If it was nighttime, I could breathe fire like this!" [WOOSH]
“If it was nighttime, I could breathe fire like this!” [WOOSH]

After swapping tales of fire with our newfound friend, our heroes resumed their course back towards the Charnival. Here, you can see it in the distance, filling the (slightly canted) horizon:

Back to the installation! This (to me) best (from afar) shows the scale of the Charnival.
Back to the installation! This (to me) best (from afar) shows the scale of the Charnival.

Just before they got there, they encountered some men in suits making some sort of statement. It was somewhat unclear, although all of the men in suits looked rather warm:

The man in the suit on the left was part of the statement being made by this piece.
The man in the suit on the left was part of the statement being made by this piece.

Back home to Mirror Blaze, still proudly flying the flags!:

Back home to Mirror Blaze, still proudly flying the flag(s)!
Back home to Mirror Blaze, still proudly flying the flag(s)!

Our heroine takes a moment to truly enjoy what she hath wrought:

Our first look at Mirror Blaze in the light, after running for hours the previous night. S expressing her satisfaction.
Our first look at Mirror Blaze in the light, after running for hours the previous night. S expressing her satisfaction.

And our heroes take a couple of moments together:

Words cannot contain our happiness!
Words cannot contain our happiness!
Also, we really need to clean these mirrors.
Also, we really need to clean these mirrors.

Next time, our heroes survey the rest of the Charnival, and continue their explorations!

Burning Man in Pictures XXVIII: True to Type, Poignant Processions, and Iconic Pictures

Photos, Travel

In our last post, our intrepid heroes explored spirituality and truth, culminating in a ‘re-birthing’ experience at the Temple.

After leaving the Temple, somewhat wrung out by the emotional experience, they came across an installation that (for them) was more true to type :

Try as they might, the Liliputians were unable to send a message. They would have to find another way.
Try as they might, the Liliputians were unable to send a message. They would have to find another way.

Continuing on their journey, our heroes encountered a somber procession:

A somber procession approaches.
A somber procession approaches.

Reading what the procession was about, there was a moment of silence, and poignant thoughts[1] as they continued:

A very poignant procession.
A very poignant procession.

Moving on, they decided to swing by The Man on our way back to the installation and then to camp. On the way, they encountered this guy, but decided not to disturb him. (The Burn had just opened, and he was probably exhausted from a week of setting up, followed by celebrations last night.):

Many people sleep during the day here, including many of the Brick People.
Many people sleep during the day here, including many of the Brick People.

Crossing one of the axis roads, they saw The Man in the distance. They decided to turn up the road for a close look (and perhaps a chance at the iconic shot):

Almost the iconic photo.
Almost the iconic photo.

For many people, the following picture epitomizes and iconifies Burning Man. The Man in the distance, bicycles in to foreground, dust swirling everywhere, with random ridiculous heavy machinery off to the side:

The iconic photo.
The iconic photo.

Zooming in, they saw the friendly elephants at the gate, directing them to the carnival around The Man:

The friendly elephants direct you to the carnival around The Man.
The friendly elephants direct you to the carnival around The Man.

Moving on, like Voyager after a gravity assist, they caught a more candid glimpse of The Man, at rest:

A slightly more candid shot of The Man, at rest.
A slightly more candid shot of The Man, at rest.

Next time, our intrepid heroes find a new friend, contemplate the impact of money on the Burn, and visit the installation for the first time since opening night the previous night.

[1]There is nothing quite like thinking about extinctions while walking through a place where almost nothing can live.

No Basis for a System of Government!

Idle Speculation, Puns, Thoughts on Thoughts, Words!

ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I’m thirty seven — I’m not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can’t just call you `Man’.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis’.

As you’re reading this, I will no longer be able to pretend to be Dennis in quite the same way.

I think I’m at peace with this (although it is really fun to be able to say those lines and have them ring truer than usual).

Speaking of being at peace with things, I wonder if meditation and relaxation can help you deal with nightmares.

Anyways, off to my day off. Enjoy the video!

[script link]