Category Archives: Internet Culture

Wikipedia:Categories

So, you may know that the English-language Wikipedia has more than 5 million pages, with 10 edits/s and about 800 new articles per day.

What you may or may not know about is the intense and detailed structure that has grown up inside Wikipedia. Consider the following page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_England


This category includes historical battles in which unified Kingdom of England (10th century–1707) participated. Please see the category guidelines for more information.

See Category:Battles involving the Britons and Category:Battles involving the Anglo-Saxons for earlier battles.
See Category:Battles involving the United Kingdom for later battles.

Subcategories

This category has the following 19 subcategories, out of 19 total.

Think about what this means. Given the propensity for people to argue*, there were probably discussions about all aspects of this, such as which were the appropriate progentior and successor states, what qualifies as a battle, how to group categories and sub-categories, and that’s even before you argue about any one specific article. Of the many reasons I love Wikipedia, possibly the most useful is its ability to direct human arguing into something more useful.

Note that this is one category, and as of today, there are 361703 categories and sub-categories in English Wikipedia.

Also, I learned that ‘Deira’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deira was a real place, and possibly not just made up by David and Leigh Eddings. (Although, given how full namespaces currently are, it’s often difficult to know.)

*This is my favourite Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Lamest_edit_wars

Tenagra, on the Ocean

Pooh and Piglet at Tanagra
“Pooh?” said Piglet.
“Yes, Piglet?” said Pooh.
“Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra,” said Piglet.
“Shaka, when the walls fell.” said Pooh.
Pic by Cathy Wappel
Words by Michael G Munz

The above pic came across my fb feed this morning.

Some random thoughts about this.

1) There exists this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Tenagra/ which is, in the internet way, developing a similar-type language.

2)

TEXT OF COMIC:
Hi, Abby. How are you?
Spock’s response to his mother’s question at the end of The Voyage Home.
Huh? What’s up with your communication skills today?
The aliens in “Darmok and Jalad.”
You’re… communicating only in obscure references to Star Trek.
Decker’s answer to Kirk saying “You saved the ship” in The Motion Picture.
And WHY exactly are you doing this?
The 74th Rule of Acquisition.
“Knowledge equals profit?” Okay, what the heck are you trying to build your knowledge for?
Kirk’s exclamation after Spock’s death.
Oh, that’s right. You’re going to a con.
MOUSEOVER TEXT: whenever I want to get laid, I just tell John ‘Spock in Amok Time’ and he knows EXACTLY what I mean
http://www.johnanderikaspeak.com/an/2012/05/12/1168/

3) The title of the post is somewhat ambiguous. It could be a reference to Dylan Thomas’ ‘A grief ago’, in its use of parts of speech, saying something deep about Tenagra, and the myths behind it leaving us behind on the seas of fleeting cultural memory… Or it could just be commenting that Tenagra was an island.

If you don’t understand the reference, this might help:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darmok

Just In Time Branding

Many years ago, I was having a conversation with a person involved with a union in a large organization, and talking about amount/value of work vs. pay. They were explaining that when you’re young, you’re underpaid, during the middle of your career, you’re paid about correctly, and later in your career, you’re overpaid.

Putting aside the fact that this seems very unfair (speaking as a ‘younger person’), and that this feels like a large arbitrage opportunity (as corporate downsizers discovered in the ’80s), this got me thinking about brands.

Brands are an interesting thing. At their most fundamental, they are an attempt to trade consumer resources for a reduction in risk*. However, brands have a startup cost. Early on, before they are established, they have to work really hard to convince people to trust them, then they can last a long time with higher pricing and higher quality (or at least a very specific level of quality). Sometimes they are purchased, and go into decline**.

I had originally wanted to make this post about how humans seem to have a common intellectual fallacy about established brands, and how opinion tends to lag fact, but the title feels more interesting to me.

Are Yelp and all the other review sites just really all about Just In Time branding? Are brands getting stronger or weaker?

*Perhaps humans naturally understand derivatives trading?

**I was going to use Fruitopia as an example here of a brand purchased and then run into the ground, but it seems it was Coca-Cola all along: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitopia

BOF V: “A Wolf in the Forest”

(This was my first experiment in creating a communal story, from Jan 5 to Jan 22/2013.)

(It’s interesting to look back on it, thinking “I thought of that?”.)

“You walk up to a wolf in the forest. It sits up on its haunches and looks at you. What do you do?”

I: “Good dog.”
Me: “The wolf looks at you askance, somehow implying with a glance that comparing it to a dog is somewhat similar to comparing a rocking horse to a racing stallion. What do you do?”
S: “Misunderstanding the somehow-implied metaphor, I draw a small saddle from my pack and hold it out to the wolf, awaiting further instruction.”
A: “I take Fat Neil’s cloak and sword and run into the forest.”
JW: “Can I make a diplomacy check?”
Me: “A: You reach the wolf, who now has two other people standing around it. You are carrying a wooden sword and a towel. What do you do?”
JS: “Run to grandma’s house.”
A: “I wrap the towel around myself and commence eating fish.”
Me: “JW: The wolf seems pleased to see you. It points its nose West, deeper into the forest. What do you do?”
Me: S: The wolf motions for you to turn around. What do you do?
Me: JS: You are now wearing a red cap. You approach a small forest cottage. What do you do?
JW: I pack up my equipment, leave a ration of venison on the ground in thanks to the wolf, and walk of to the west cautiously.
S: Saddle still in hand, I turn around, grumbling slightly about how good Alex’s lunch smells.
Me: A: You finish chewing your wooden sword in two. You now have two sticks, suitable for framing a two-dimensional picture, or perhaps propping up a small tent. What do you do?
Me: S: The wolf reaches around, deftly takes the saddle from your hands, and places it on your back. It then ties the buckle. It seems to want to get on. What do you do?
Me: JW: The wolf breaks the venison in two, eats half, and puts the other half in its pouch. It takes a piece of paper from its pouch, limps over to you, and hands it to as you walk away. As you are walking, you see paths off to the right and left. What do you do?
S: I glance around and declare, “Nay,” scuffing the ground with my boot to emphasize my lack of interest in this plan.
Me: S: The wolf limps over and looks at you sideways, in a pleading fashion. You also smell the delicious taste of venison. What do you do?
JW: I stop and look at both sides of the piece of paper.
PSL: I call out the game master for taking taste as subject to the olfactory sense.
Me: JW: One side has what appear to be coffee stains in the shape of a dolphin. The other side has what appears to be a map of the forest, with paths marked in two different colours. From your memory, you discern that you walked along one of the light green paths to reach the wolf. The path to your right leads to what looks like a cloud of warm colours, the path to the left leads to what appears to be jagged steel slashes. There are numerous dark green lines crisscrossing the paths. What do you do?
Me: PSL: Your character walks up to the nearest tree and smells the bark with his tongue. What do you do?
S: I crouch with a sigh and point at the saddle.
JW: I try to remember why I came to this forest in the first place.
Me: S: The wolf climbs on, straps itself in, and somehow conveys that it wants to go East. What do you do?
Me: J: You’re not sure. Sometimes you go into the forest to try to find the fabled contemplation glade, sometimes you go to hunt for food, sometimes to visit your friend the druid, sometimes just to explore. What do you do?
S: Again misunderstanding the wolf’s attempt at communication, I run in a circle and jump over a downed tree, then wait for my venison reward.
Me: S: The wolf softly nips at your left ear while at the same time tapping its left leg on your left side. What do you do?
S: I shriek, complain a little about unjust desserts, and start running in the direction the wolf indicated.
JW: I follow the path to the right, thanking the druid again.
Me: S: You find that as you start to run, your stride begins to lengthen, and your rum starts to feel more like a gallop. You move through the undergrowth, which seems to part for you, and come upon a large tree. The wolf motions for you to stop. What do you do?
Me: JW: You walk through the forest for a while, until you come to a small cottage. There is smoke coming out of the chimney, and delicious smells wafting from the open door. What do you do?
Jamie Wells I try to figure out what it I am smelling.
Me: JW: It smells like delicious baked cookies, along with a hint of mint. You catch a glimpse of red through the window. What do you do?
PSL: I gallop after S, because that seems to be where a narrative is beginning to develop.
JW: With baked cookies with a hint of mint being one of my favorite things, I can’t help but get drawn to the open foor, peak my head in, and say “Hello? May I please have some cookies?” (in whatever the common language happens to be in this forest).
Me: PSL: You crash through the underbrush and end up in a meadow. You see a woman with a wolf on her back looking at a large tree. What do you do?
Me: JW: Peering around the doorjamb, you see an older woman taking a baking pan out of the oven, and a younger woman wearing a red cap sitting at the table chopping mint. The older woman says “Of course!” The younger woman in the red cap says: “Would you like some fresh mint sprinkled on top? It’ll probably be the last for a while, so make sure you savour it!” What do you do?
PSL: I instagram.
Me: PSL: You focus your will, and a small weight appears out of thin air into your hand. What do you do?
S: I pull over, feeling strangely exposed, as if a bit of my soul has been stolen. I peer up at the tree, then back at the wolf.
PSL: I toss the weight at the thick of the tree overhead (or rather the next one over, I’m not *that* hopeless) and wait expectantly.
Me: S: Up the tree, you see a small human dwelling, wedged between the branches. The wolf motions to you and then up the tree with its snout. What do you do?
JS: Part of my brain questions the sanity of taking food from a stranger, however it is overridden by the “COOKIES!!!” portion of by brain. I gobble up three of them (with mint sprinkled on them).
Me: PSL: The weight transforms into a small rabbit and a watch in the air. They gently graze the next tree over and fall lightly to the ground. What do you do?
PSL: I tie the chain on the pocket watch to the rabbit and hold the watch as the leash handle. Then I enter the forest.
Me: JW: This is the MOST DELICIOUS MINT that you have ever tasted. The younger woman in the red says “I know, I’m never able to savour them, either.” “It’s too bad that with the forest going dark, we can’t get any more of that mint.” “Say, you wouldn’t be willing to do something for us, would you?” What do you do?
Me: PSL: You walk into the forest, with the rabbit happily hopping behind you. You feel a faint ticking in your hand each time the rabbit hops. You come to a clearing. There is a circle of mushrooms in the center, and numerous holes in the ground around the perimeter. What do you do?
PSL: I hurriedly pack my belongings and wonder why my office atop Robarts Library closes at five when Christmas seems weeks ago. Then I shrug and eat the first mushroom.
JW: I say “How may I help you?”.
Me: PSL: You successfully escape Robarts Library just before it wakes from its slumber. Huge stony concrete wings unfurl from behind, and two red circles of light appear near the top of the central tower. They seem to be intensifying. The mushroom tastes odd, as if it had been sprinkled with something. You feel the ground getting closer. You have a great desire to eat another one of the mushrooms. What do you do?
Me: JW: The older woman intones: “In the days before humans came to these woods, there was a great darkness that covered the land. It was fought off only through the great valour and sacrifice of a group of noble animals. A wolf, a bear, a rabbit, and a hawk. Their story fills many volumes, and we do not have time for it now. It has been said that the darkness can not encroach as long as they stand vigilant, but they are injured and scattered. We have not heard from any save the wolf in weeks. If you can clear a small path to the mint, and retrieve some, along with the fireweed that grows there, we can perform a divination to figure out the next task.” What do you do?
PSL: I eat another mushroom.
KMV: Suggest it might look good as a grandmother.
CH: Thinks you all have made too many assumptions. *YOU* are obviously a bitch, and a HOT one at that. You and the wolf make passionate love under the full moon, howling in paroxysmal, delight, tearing into one another as clumps of fur lay strewn across the freshly fallen snow. . . [excerpt from Fifty shades of the Grey Wolf]
RG: I cast Animal friendship or Charm animal depending on the edition we playing.
MC: don’t walk up to a wolf in the forest unless you are a wolf. If you are a wolf then smell the wolf’s butt.
CE: I’d say: WHASSSAAAAAAA…
Me: PSL: You see the ground come up at you *really* quickly. You feel the rabbit pulling you away from the mushroom ring towards one of the holes around the clearing. What do you do?
Me: KMV: You see the wolf make the ASL for ‘red’, somehow. It points with its snout down one of the forest paths. What do you do?
Me: CH: You wake up from a very strange dream and find yourself on a strangely computer science-based Jeopardy show. You hear the words: “50 shaders of grey for 100, Alex.” What do you do?
JW: I say “Just show me where to go, and I shall complete this task”.
Me: RG: You cast ‘charm animal’ on the wolf. The wolf seems to shimmer as if something passed through it. Its tongue lolls out as if it is sharing a joke with you. What do you do?
Me: MC: The wolf speaks to you in Wolf: “Praytell, would you join me in a quest to push back the darkness? We must first find my companions, to assist us in the many tasks ahead.” What do you do?
Me: CE: The wolf looks at you as if it was sitting at home, drinking an import. What do you do?
Me: JW: The woman asks you to open your map, and points out one of the dark green lines which ends in a circle of green wavy lines with flames in the center. “You must follow this path to the mint grove. We do not know how far the darkness has spread. You must focus sunlight to clear a path. Take these two sugar crystals. They should focus the light enough to clear a path.” What do you do?
JW: I take the sugar crystals and take the path the woman indicated on the map down to the mint grove. On the way out, I snag a couple of more cookies and leave 5 silver coins in payment.
PSL I stick my arm up the first hole up to the shoulder.
Me: JW: On your way out, the woman runs after you and hands you back your silver coins. “You’ll want these to help reflect and focus the sunlight!” “Enjoy the cookies! If you need a brief insight later, try eating them!” You wonder why she always speaks with exclamation marks, but you continue on. Going down the path, you reach the point where the path goes from light green to dark green. The Dark green path seems to be a small path through the underbrush. You crawl along the path. After going a short ways into the underbrush, you sense more than see a dark cloud up ahead. What do you do?
Me: PSL: As you reach down to the hole, you realize that the hole has gotten bigger, and is about the same size as you. At approximately the same time, you realize that the rabbit has gotten much larger and is pulling you into the hole. You fall over, and are rolling down the hole after the rabbit. What do you do?
JW: I set up the sugar crystals in a resonating cavity, reflect sunlight into the cavity using a silver coin, and aim the output beam into the cloud (ie. I shoot the beam of light into the darkness).
WYC: You deal them a hand of cards, and play go fish with them.
Me: JW: The sun shines into the cavity, and is somehow focused and *changed*. The beam slashes into the dark cloud, exploding it into shards in a straight line in front of you. You can now see a brightly lit path to a meadow. What do you do?
Me: WYC: The wolf motions you over to a magical pond with fish frolicking inside. There are slots on the side of the lake for cards. Looking at your cards, you see that they now each have a number of fish on them. The wolf asks if you have any kipper. Looking at your cards, you do not. What do you do?
GW: I sit down and look back at it
PSL: I reach out for a protruding root and manage to bring my descent to a halt.
YG: I cast Magic Missile into the darkness.
EG: Smile and say hello.
JW: Into the meadow I go!
LMH: Sounds like time for a makeout session…
PSL:Also, I throw up my mushrooms.
Me: GW: The wolf looks back at you. You see it motion towards the ground. You see something glinting there. What do you do?
Me: PSL: You successfully slow your descent, but the rabbit is too large and pulling you too fast for you to fully stop until you reach the end of the hole. It opens into a large underground room. There are four exits: the way you came in, which looks like a daunting climb, a passageway to the left, which seems to have a flickering light, a passageway straightforward, which the rabbit seems to be pulling you towards, and a passageway to the right, which smells faintly swampy. What do you do?
PSL: Go right.
Me: YG: You make a small temporary hole in the dark cloud, and a few shards break off and fall to the ground. You feel like you might need something larger. There are dark shards on the ground. What do you do?
DL: I call the midwife who tells me to chill out. I look at facebook. I double check the snack bag. I look at facebook again.
GW: I walk over and examine what is glinting on the ground.
Me: EG: The wolf swishes its tail as if to say hello. It points its nose towards a tree. You see something sparkling in a hole in the tree about 10 feet up. What do you do?
Me: JW: You enter the meadow. Bursting out of the brush, you see that the brightly lit path extends into the meadow. You see a large cluster of herbs growing in the center of the clearing. The green cluster seems to be moving. You feel more than see the dark cloud around you starting to fluctuate. What do you do?
Me: LMH: The wolf licks your face repeatedly. It seems to like you. What do you do?
Me: PSL: You throw the extra mushrooms you were carrying up in the air and catch them. Nothing seems to happen. You start down the right passageway. The rabbit seems to be pulling you back the way you came, and eventually pulls away from you and waits at the end of the tunnel, back at the four-way room. The tunnel starts to glow green as you continue. A miasma starts to fill the air. You reach an underground grotto with glowing green moss covering the walls, and a small pond. What do you do?
Me: DL: The Wolf pads over and sits down, trying to distract you to help you relax. It pulls a vole out of your snack bag and chews contentedly in companionable silence. What do you do?
Me: GW: It seems to be a ring. Picking it up, it has a picture of a wolf on it. What do you do?
PSL: Eat moss.
LMH: Begin excreting toxins through my sebaceous glands…
GW: I look the ring over and try it on. Unfortunately it is too big to fit on any of my fingers, so I offer it to the wolf.
EG: I attempt to climb the tree but the first branch is too high for me to reach. After a few painful jumps, I collapse against the tree and fall asleep.
JW: I pick some of the mint, then eat one of the cookies to get some insight on where I might find the fireweed.
BSG: I wander into the mint meadow and am surprised to find someone already there picking mint.

BoF III: Keybeards and Bagpopes:

S Writes:
“But see, if they play the pipes near other people, they’ll be arrested.”
“Arrested? By whom?”
“… by the Scottish bagpipe police?”
“Piffle! No such thing! In fact, there is a Scottish bagpipe brigade whose job it is to ensure that the pipes are played often and loudly. They must conform to the exacting standards set forth by the…”
(at this point, B blows up my pantleg, and I pause.)
“… Bagpope.”

“The Bag Pope?”

“Imagine the mass! Every parishioner plays the pipes, and the church has to be burned to the ground after every service.”
“Wait, why? Does it seep into the stones?”
“IT IS RUINED.”

BoF II: Some one-liners from 2014

(Along with some selected* comments.)

“Chaotic Justified. That’s my alignment. -S”
J: “Do you tab indent every third line?”
Me: “It’s more that I tab indent a number of spaces equal to the strange attractor?”

“Church bells: A peal to authority.”
Me: “Perhaps more specifically: ‘Church Bell Arguments’.”
Me: “http://mzonline.com/bin/view/Python/ChurchBellsSketch/”

Almost a Koan:
“Is Evening Performance when you balance something on top of an evening?”
M: “or light the evening on fire and spin it around”
K: “Every response merely encourages him!”

“New idea: Name one of the rooms in your home ‘Metonymy’.”
S: “That’s where we’ll store the literary theory!”
K: “Based on the amount of my mortgage that I’ve paid off, I figure that I own whichever room of my house that I am currently occupying.”
K: “I get metonymy and synechdoche mixed up.”
L: “The only example I can remember from highschool english re: metonymy is breadwinner. Does the aforementioned room provide earnings and sustenance for the rest of the domicile?”

“Sometimes unceasing horrible noise is its own reward.”
J: “That would explain your presence in bands in high school. Har har.”

*Generally from those who were playing along. If you have issues with my editing, tell me! 😀

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ClockFire!

It all started as a joke on The Daily Show, but like the most unfortunate of jokes, like Scientology and fluorescent bulb light-saber battles, it had taken on a life of its own.

They say that it would never have come to such prominence if AIs had not taken over the near-infinite number of channels now available. Even 14 billion humans could not compete with 40 Trillion AIs each with their own channel that they could spray fully animated words and pictures into in real time.

Of course, it helped that “ClockFire” was hilarious. In the spirit of Monty Python’s “Agatha Christie” and “Mr. Neville Shunt” sketches, it turns out that there are a surprising number of puns that one can make about concurrency and low-level operating system latency.