The brain is good at many things. Previously I’ve talked about how the brain is good at being lazy.

One corollary of this is that the brain is very good at normalizing your experiences of whatever difficulties you are experiencing.

This can be a very good thing, if for example you are trying to accomplish a task while subject to indescribable pain. But it can be a bad thing when you assume that everyone else’s problems are just as difficult as yours.

For illustration, I’m going to use my favourite analogy, which while imperfect, I think showcases the relevant concepts.

Bicycles, headwinds, and tailwinds:

Most of you reading this have ridden a bicycle at some point. If you have ever commuted by bicycle, you will know that headwinds are the bane of your existence[1].

But you might never notice a tailwind, if you have one. Headwinds are very noticeable, because you have to actively fight through them. Tailwinds are much more subtle, you might notice that you’re less tired after a trip, or that it was faster. It’s very easy to ascribe that to you feeling more energetic that day, or just feeling more fit.

Now imagine that on your route each morning, you have a tailwind. You don’t notice it, you just end up at work each day slightly happier than you would otherwise. Now imagine another person who travels in a different direction each morning, which gives them a headwind. Having never experienced a headwind, you might say “oh, you just need to increase your pedal cadence until you become more fit”.

This is your privilege speaking. This person is just as fit or perhaps more fit than you. Your brain has normalized your experience. You just think you understand because you also have problems which feel just as difficult to you.

[1]This is especially fun if ‘downtown’ is by a large body of water, and dwellings are ‘uptown’. You will get an onshore breeze in the morning (blowing inland) as you’re commuting downtown, and then an offshore breeze (blowing towards the body of water) in the evening, as you’re commuting home. Headwinds for everyone!